just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize