question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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