I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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