You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My vagina is very pro this idea
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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