I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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