You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
