Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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