I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
