ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
