I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
