Buhtt sex?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
