No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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