Life is so much better after having sex.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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