quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
