i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
