I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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