If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm really busy with my period
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