I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize