alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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