Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
