i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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