when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
