Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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