Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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