I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Someone signed my nipple.
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