it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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