**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
