I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
