I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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