bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
