I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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