I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
