sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize