Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
