hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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