my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
