Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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