Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
