Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
