i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
