Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
