girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
