so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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