I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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