Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
