idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
they're like a gay fantastic four
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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