Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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