That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
