I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
