do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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