In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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