He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
