Nicole vs. Life
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
