You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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