Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
