He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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