Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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