And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
