speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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