I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
